Howye fokes! How is things? Browsen through me Tedasaurus the other day, I came across a little piece about
me Fourbear, Pra da Panda, what was once the Nation’s top designer and what invented the stone-washed jean
back in the last few weeks of the Stone Age.
The peasant fokes was delighted alltagather with their new trews, until the flaxen-haired daughtera the local Locks Clan [no furst name recorded] started sayen that everyone was looken fierce scruffy alltagather in the new gear. [At this pint we can only speculate that this spite was outta pure jealously cos her prehistoric arse was too big ta fit in ta them]. Well, me Fourbears was taken none of these insults fer sure, and after discoveren the resta the world fer ta subsequently invent the WWW, they looked up the Iron Age on Google, got it delivered, and then left it ta Ted the Inventer ta invent the very furst steam iron.
Ted the Onterpineer took things over from here and was in the middle of plannen the very furst laundrette when his plannen permission was blocked by a mysterious objecter, on the grounds that it might hamper the allready scanty bleach and hair dyen peroxide supplies. And next thing ya know hadn’t the local Locks Clan opened up the furst wash-house in the area. Well, in the heela the reel, the Ted population wasn’t too disappinted with their loss cos it soon transpired that this was firece sweaty work alltagather and they had loads of time ta develop the art of gamblen, boozen and general carrousen while the flaxen-haired daughtera the local Locks clan had ta spend all her days slaven away over a hot iron.
The peasant fokes was delighted alltagather with their new trews, until the flaxen-haired daughtera the local Locks Clan [no furst name recorded] started sayen that everyone was looken fierce scruffy alltagather in the new gear. [At this pint we can only speculate that this spite was outta pure jealously cos her prehistoric arse was too big ta fit in ta them]. Well, me Fourbears was taken none of these insults fer sure, and after discoveren the resta the world fer ta subsequently invent the WWW, they looked up the Iron Age on Google, got it delivered, and then left it ta Ted the Inventer ta invent the very furst steam iron.
Ted the Onterpineer took things over from here and was in the middle of plannen the very furst laundrette when his plannen permission was blocked by a mysterious objecter, on the grounds that it might hamper the allready scanty bleach and hair dyen peroxide supplies. And next thing ya know hadn’t the local Locks Clan opened up the furst wash-house in the area. Well, in the heela the reel, the Ted population wasn’t too disappinted with their loss cos it soon transpired that this was firece sweaty work alltagather and they had loads of time ta develop the art of gamblen, boozen and general carrousen while the flaxen-haired daughtera the local Locks clan had ta spend all her days slaven away over a hot iron.
Then one day while she was nosen through the jeans pockets of one a the Marks
Brothers [whether Ted or Carl is not recorded] didn’t she come across the haff finished tedifesto on slave
labour and decided ta there and then down tools and refuse ta work any more
until some of the Teds agreed ta help her. Unlookily fer her, didn’t she ferget ta turn off
the iron and the jint burnt down ta a cinder, leaven the Locks Clan destitute
fer yonks ta come.Which just goes ta show ye fokes, ya should never strike while the iron is hot.
