Back ta School - a cautionary tale, as told by GallantTed

Us Teds are a bit broke after all da gallivanten we did duren da summer.  But luckily didn’t we see an ad on the internet offeren us classes on how ta get-rich-fierce-quick-alltagather. The classes are run by the world famous onterpineer, Mrs Trudy Loff.   

MadDogTed likes spenden money

Well, we applied fer the course and Trudy sent us a really nice personal email tellen us that a cute buncha tallented onterpineeren Teds like us could call her Tru.  

We was right chuffed, I’ll tell ya, and being a biteen short of cash, we had ta go ta Mr Slasher fer a loan fer ta sign up ta Tru’s course - cos these thing don’t come cheap, ya know.  

Anyways, Mr Slasher looked more that a biteen dubious fer sure and told us that he’d heard of manys the poor crature that ended up in the workhouse after signen up fer the very same get-rich-quick course.  

One guy was advised ta purchase a pile of land fer ta make a football pitch out of. He borrowed up ta his eyeballs only ta discover that the land was riddled with moles and it was too bumpy fer anyone ta play on.  

Then there was the woman what was advised ta specialise in luxury desserts and paid through the nose fer a secret recipe fer custard. But, alas, the mixture always came out lumpy no matter what she did. 

And then there was Mr Slasher’s very own cousin, Belinda da Beautician, what spent an arm and a leg on fake tan that always came out uneven and was sued ta the armpits by her angry clientelle. 

  

Which only goes ta prove ta ya - the course a Tru Loff never did run smooth.