fokes! How is things! As I mentioned last week,
Albear Camoo, decided ta take a new direction in his writen and taught he’d try
his paw at a bitta the Chick Lit what’s all the rage at the minute.
His second novel in this genere called, A Bad
Hare Day, has just been published and is a right hart-renchen rollercoaster
ride of emotions alltagather. It’s all about a fierce vane Rooster called
Roberto what falls in love with Martha, a glamerous Hare what comes from the
other side of the chicken wire. Romeo and Juliet was never in it with this
pair, I’ll tell ya, and things do be goen grand alltagather until the fatefull
day when Roberto discovers a gray hare in his comb.
fella didn’t know what ta do and at furst kept the problem well hidden under
his hat. Then after many sleepless nights of dispair he valiantally decided ta
get some professional help. It was here that our intrepid hero was intraduced
ta the murky world a hair colouren and after a soul destroyen journey through
the ups and downs of highlights and lowlights, Roberto soon found himself
choosen the harder option of all-out streeken.
a distraught Martha didn’t know what exactly was goen on with her once ardent
beau and was haven her own sleepless nights of dispair wonderen if there was somethin
the matter with her cos her Roberto seemed ta have a problem goen all the way.
It was then that she made the daren decision ta change the colour of her own
beautiful tresses. So our intrepid heroine was also intarduced ta the murky
world a hare colouren and it weren’t long before she too had reached the
all-out streeken phase. But was this enuff ta save the tainted passion of our tint-crossed lovers?
after more hart-renchen sleepless nights of dispair and all that sorta stuff,
I’ve no dout in me furry little mind that ya’ll be bursten ta know the final
outcome. Now, I don’t want ta give too much away at this pistnt, but suffice ta
say that, yes! yes! yes! – they eventually did go all the way and tragically
they both dyed in the end.
GallantTed reviewsthe latest books from the Chick Lit stable
John with the Wind by MadDogTed
Howye fokes! How is things? I’ll tell
ye, MadDogTed decided ta have go at writen somethin in the Chick Lit vane fer
the craic and his little offeren called John
withthe Windis all about a vain weather cock
called John what finds it hard ta find love cos he’s stook on top of the barn
and never gets ta meet anyone and, as a result takes ta overdosen on beans fer
ta fill the emotional void inside of him. Subsequently, he gets a pernamint
dose a the flatulince what effects his work grately cos he’s never quite sure
which way the wind does be blowen and ends up haven ta rely on his bunions fer
ta predict the weather.
But then he
meets the love of his life, Muriel the blackburd, what flies inta his lonely
life and buys him some corn plasters fer
his burthday and cures his bunions. Of course, this means he can no longer
forcast the weather cos as a further token of her affections, Muriel just loves
ta feed him beans, so he still hasn’t a clue which way the wind does be blowen.
Anyways, as a result dosen’t he lose his job and the destitute pair of love burds end up bitter, down-and-out,
fly-by-night renegades what spend the resta their lives on the rampage, brutally gorgen
the eyes outta any weathermen what crosses their path and violently knocken the heads offa any Child a
Prague statue what gets in their way.
ya could say the the two a them completely lost the plot. Which is really what
MadDogTed’s furst attempt at a romantic novel does from the very furst word
what he wrote. Fer that reason, ya can imagine me surprise when he told me that
he’d actually found a publisher fer his odious opus. And when I sed that his novel didn’t quite embrace the sweet
romantic essince of what Chick Lit is all about he sed, “Chick Lit, me arse,
it’s Sick Lit what I do be writen, fer sure!” And I’ll tell ye fokes, there’s
no better Ted fer the job.
To Fleece A Sheep by Albear Camoo
fokes! How is things? After the grate
success a MadDogTed’s furst Sick Lit novel, John with the Wind, there was no way that me other literary
pal, Albear Camoo, was goen ta be out done and a right battle of lits enscewed
as he rushed ta get his first novel in the Chick Lit genre published.
novel,TaFleece a Sheep, is full of passion,
intrigue, betrayal and all that sorta stuff and is all about a fierce rich but
socially inept Farmer what longs ta be
runnen with the* In Crowd* but is cursed by the mark a the agricultural
wellinton. He desperately tries ta hide his brutally boorish beginnens and
bumptiousally makes several attimpts ta launch himself inta high society, but
constantly gives his poor breeden away - like the time he bought his way inta a
reel fancy card game only ta make a holy show outta himself by spitten on his
hands every time a spade was delt.
one fatefull night, a fierce mysterious and glamerous woman enters his life
fierce delighted with himself alltagather. But tragically, what our woolly-headed
frend doesn’t realize is that his new lover is really only a washed-out,
mutton-dressed-as lamb, gallopen trollop offa gold digger what’s only after his
can’t be given too much more away at this pint, but I’m not codden ya, yer eyes
will be glued ta the pages as ya enter this exciten world a thrills, spills,
glitz, treachery, fizzy sheep dip on ice
and all that sorta stuff. It promises ta be a grate read alltagather and one ya
should definitely pack inta yer suit case when yer goen on yer hollimadays.
fokes! How is things? Me post bag is only bulgen with all yer letters and
queries on the Jesus and Mary MacDillon affair – or lack thereof as the case
may be. Anyways, I
got one very interesten letter from a reader what signs herself as Just
Wonderen, from Back the Road what writes:
I read your
blog with great pleasure and interest every week and think it’s the best thing
since the sliced unlevelled pan. I've no doubt you or your readers can help me with my little problem.
You see Ted, the
other day when the sun was shining for a few minutes, I took my little Joseph
to the seaside to give him a chance to play with his new bucket and spade. It
was while he was digging happily in the sand that he found these very old
looking papers that looked like parchment or something. On closer examination,
much to my surprise, I discovered that I’m a product of this Divine Bloodline
that everyone is talking about. Yes, Ted, I have the evidence to prove that I
am indeed related to Jesus and Mary.
Now Ted, it
doesn’t take a great mind to figure out that if I am related, then I’m entitled
to an inheritance. So my question to you is, when Jesus died, rose again and
then ascended into heaven - did that make Mary a widow or a deserted wife? I
mean which allowance was she entitled to? And as I’ve no doubt that in those
days it probably took years to sort such claims out, there’s a good chance that
it was never resolved in her lifetime and now her descendants are entitled to
all the back pay – with interest, of course.
How much am I worth with back pay
So Ted, I’d
be most grateful if you or any of your loyal readers could answer my query as
soon as possible. Signed,Just
Wondering, Back the Road.
Well, there ye have it fokes. Apply within with